Elindultam (I set out...)
My family was warmly welcomed here in 1983 by a government that didn't own the land where we were to live. One of the first things my father did was go out to Six Nations Reservation and ask for permission to settle here. He repeated this at the Cape Croker Reservation when they retired to Wiarton years later. This sound immersion is my attempt to explore the various elements that make up my walking on this Native Land as a refugee and immigrant, having been driven out of my native land - Hungary - by occupying forces.
I've been trying to find the beat of my steps since arriving here.
My parents made sure I was aware of some of the issues in the relations between First Nations and Canada. What was I do to - what AM I to do - with that initial, rudimentary awareness? What is the best expression of my gratitude for the privileges I've enjoyed? What is my role as a Canadian? How do I honour where I came from and still engage fully here? What new vocabulary can I help bring forth in this journey towards healing? How can I nourish this path for everyone's highest good?
I've been trying to find the beat of my steps since arriving here.
My parents made sure I was aware of some of the issues in the relations between First Nations and Canada. What was I do to - what AM I to do - with that initial, rudimentary awareness? What is the best expression of my gratitude for the privileges I've enjoyed? What is my role as a Canadian? How do I honour where I came from and still engage fully here? What new vocabulary can I help bring forth in this journey towards healing? How can I nourish this path for everyone's highest good?
Components:
1. Nature:
- resilience
- nourishment
- bearing witness - trees in orchard were there when school was functioning as a school, as were some of the bigger trees on the property.
2. Scratching:
- survivors scratching their names on the bricks at the back of the building
- Surlódás - between experiences, interpretations, memories, motivations, cultures, languages,
- erosion of facade - begin digging out; allow light in; see below surface; expand
- painful
- difficult
- unpleasant sound
3. Steps:
- running / walking (away from / toward)
- progress (?)
- freedom (restriction) / escape / refuge
- togetherness / isolation / community / exile
4. ambient sounds:
- backdrop to all experiences
- building / land has own hum, rhythm, pulse
- constant
- easy to miss
5. Hungarian
i) Poetry: from Zács Klára (1855) by János Arany. References abuses of a foreign monarch, Queen Elizabeth, wife of King Károly I, 1300s. My father's favourite poet and one of his favourite ballads, which he taught me by rote when I was 6.
Rossz idöket érünk We live in bad times
Rossz csillagok járnak Bad stars are moving above us
Isten ója nagy csapástól God save from a harsh calamity
Mi Magyar hazánkat! Our Hungarian home!
ii) Folk Song: Elindultam Szép Hazámból - collected by Béla Bartók in 1906. In 1940, at the end of the last concert Bartók conducted in Hungary before his immigration, during the standing ovation, the audience sang this folk song to him. My father was involved in the efforts to collect Hungarian folk songs before 1956. Since the 1956 revolution, this song has been an anthem of sorts for dissidents and displaced Hungarians throughout
the world:
1. Nature:
- resilience
- nourishment
- bearing witness - trees in orchard were there when school was functioning as a school, as were some of the bigger trees on the property.
2. Scratching:
- survivors scratching their names on the bricks at the back of the building
- Surlódás - between experiences, interpretations, memories, motivations, cultures, languages,
- erosion of facade - begin digging out; allow light in; see below surface; expand
- painful
- difficult
- unpleasant sound
3. Steps:
- running / walking (away from / toward)
- progress (?)
- freedom (restriction) / escape / refuge
- togetherness / isolation / community / exile
4. ambient sounds:
- backdrop to all experiences
- building / land has own hum, rhythm, pulse
- constant
- easy to miss
5. Hungarian
i) Poetry: from Zács Klára (1855) by János Arany. References abuses of a foreign monarch, Queen Elizabeth, wife of King Károly I, 1300s. My father's favourite poet and one of his favourite ballads, which he taught me by rote when I was 6.
Rossz idöket érünk We live in bad times
Rossz csillagok járnak Bad stars are moving above us
Isten ója nagy csapástól God save from a harsh calamity
Mi Magyar hazánkat! Our Hungarian home!
ii) Folk Song: Elindultam Szép Hazámból - collected by Béla Bartók in 1906. In 1940, at the end of the last concert Bartók conducted in Hungary before his immigration, during the standing ovation, the audience sang this folk song to him. My father was involved in the efforts to collect Hungarian folk songs before 1956. Since the 1956 revolution, this song has been an anthem of sorts for dissidents and displaced Hungarians throughout
the world:
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Elindultam szép hazámból,
Híres kis Magyarországból. Visszanéztem félutamból, Szemembol a könny kicsordult. Bú ebédem, bú vacsorám, Boldogtalan minden órám. Nézem a csillagos eget, Sírok alatta eleget. Én Istenem, adjál szállást, Mert meguntam a bujdosást, A bujdosást, a járkálást, Az idegen földön lakást. |
I left my beautiful home,
Famous little Hungary. I looked back from half way And a tear fall from my eye. Trouble is my breakfast and my lunch Unhappy are all my hours. I look at the starry sky I cry below it enough. My God, give me accommodation I am tired of the hiding, Of the hiding and the wandering, Of living in a foreign land. |
iii) Folk Song: Megkötöm lovamat piros almafához. Collected by Péczely Attila from Csongrád Megye, in the south eastern region of Hungary, where my mother was born. This melody is lesser known for this text, and is my mother's favourite. When we immigrated, my parents weren't able to tell anyone about our plans. My mother never saw her mother again.
Megkötöm lovamat piros almafához
Megkötöm szívemet gyönge violámhoz
Lovamat eloldom, mikor a hold jö fel
de te töled rózsám, csak a halál tép el.
I tie my horse to the red apple tree
I tie my heart to my delicate violet
I untie my horse when the moon rises
but only death will tear me from you..
6. Haudenosaunee song: Taught to me by my dear friend Lee Styres Loft. It is a song acknowledging, celebrating and thanking the power, nourishment and joy of water, the healing and health it brings in all its forms. This song was taught to her by another close friend of ours who was visiting another Haudenosaunee community. This friend is not of First Nations heritage, and the joy with which Lee tells the story of learning one of the songs of her nation from someone who isn't by birth Haudenosaunee exemplifies what this entire installation is trying to achieve - the working together of all of us to move forward differently in a good way, nourishing and educating all these bits into a different whole.
A project of the Woodland Cultural Centre
As a classically-trained mezzo-soprano I use voice, sound and movement to explore ways of communication, self-expression and delusion. As a refugee and immigrant, I am drawn to clashes of cultures, world-views and vocabularies. As a Canadian I am preoccupied with the delicate dance that connects land to communities, communities to individuals, and individuals to the land. My work runs along the spectrum from traditional classical performances to experimental, multidisciplinary projects and installations. My ongoing training reflects the various aspects of my exploration.
To Lee Styres-Loft and Mama Bárdos my most humble gratitude for permission to use their voices in this piece.
Special thanks to the following for their help and support
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Funding for the Mush Hole Project is provided, in part, by the Ontario Arts Council |
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